September 28, 2008

  • Waiting...

    I have not been resting well since Tuesday.  Tomorrow, if all things went well, I will get the preliminary result of my Amniocentesis.  I can't bring myself to think about it at all.  I tried to occupy my time with just about everything else in my life.  Just there other day, Duke told me that he wanted a baby sister.  He promised he would be a good brother and he would help feed the baby.  What do I tell him if the test result shows that the baby has Down Syndrome?  I will not keep the baby.  Since I am now officially in my 18th week, I might have to have an induced abortion.  What does having an abortion feel like?  Does it feel like the actual labor?  Do I lay down and get knocked out while the doctor scrap and scrub?  The worst thing is that if the result is not available tomorrow, then I would have to wait another day.